Tag Archives: living

on sadness

you can leave it by the seaside
while you frolic in the waves
have you ever been thrown
by the ocean in a thunderstorm?
you’re not supposed to do that, but

other times you can rest it on the bar
pick up a long stem of red wine
or a salted tequila shot, urged on by a friend
as long as there’s laughter, it lays
like a wet coaster
like a nightmare dissolving
in the morning sun

each morning you strap it to your back
or slip it into your pocket (if it’s small
enough) and so does everyone else
so sometimes it’s hard to look
because you see theirs too
and sometimes you find
somewhere to leave it
if only for a while
and it’s worth
the wait
but

the egg and the security deposit

my brother threw an egg at the wall once
to defuse a tense situation
the shock of it made us all laugh
once we saw each other, mouths gaping

there’s a problem in every day, i’ve found
with our lists and our self expectations
i start ten to six but five out of ten
days i come up short and full of self hatred

oh what’s it matter what’s it matter
i’m still not too sure
half the time i just need the distraction
there’s the egg, the impact and everything
between. but (i think) life is found
in the laughter

if you can read this

you’ve heard the theory that there are endless
parallel universes with endless versions
of ourselves living different lives due to splits
at certain events?

so far i lived in a universe of 28 years
without nuclear war
without my dog falling off the bridge
that one time when he almost might’ve plus 4
car crashes where no one was hurt except
my PT cruiser, may he rust in peace never
to overheat again.

so the theory isn’t quite like that but probably
there’s a version of me living under a woman president
a bit persnickety about this or that, but overall well
and able to sleep at night. if you can read this
then you aren’t there, either

you are not alone
it’s something to repeat when fear takes hold
i fear the actions that fear may drive us to
the stampedes and the ‘save yourselves!’ unless we remember
you are not alone

reroute

even if it could be worse
especially
if it could be worse
questioning and seeking don’t make you
ungrateful. spit on that word.
spit as they blow it out in sighs about timelines
and inconveniences
trust your heart, even if you only hear it
on sunday nights, whispering that the most dangerous
place to be is ‘not so bad’